ORION

THE ANSWER...MANDATORY STERILIZATION

It's always been a ridiculous notion in the back of my mind, but after writing the last entry of this blog I think it is not such a bad idea. We should have mandatory sterilization in this country.

It's so clear now. The answer is simple! If only we could sterilize some individuals in society, specifically but not limited to the drug abusing, sex-offending, prostituting, 19 years old on medicaid with 4 kids already, domestic abusing, have fathered multiple children with multiple women, or those gang-bangin' pieces of shit we all know and love - we could actually improve American society.

This way, these individuals would have more time to find a job, contribute to the human race, improve the efficiency of society, decrease the amount of poverty in this country, produce a better life for the children they already have, and allow more free time for the people who actually should be producing children to do just that.

A FATHER, A ROLE MODEL

Some gang-bangin' thug was brought to the ER for a head injury he sustained in a fight with two other guys. Apparently, this poor guy was minding his own business and had no reason to be assaulted. I guess he was simply in the wrong place at the wrong time. Pretty common story.

Well, his head CT was normal and I stapled his head laceration. After a while, he stopped being so aggressive with the nurses and myself and informed me that he just wanted to get home to see his girlfriend and kid. I asked him about his young son and told him we had stuffed animals in the ER, and that he should take one home to give to his little boy. He said fine so I gave him one. Prior to discharge from the ER, he simply threw the stuffed animal in the garbage and then spit on it. For all fathers out there, here is our role model.

Maybe this guy would be an excellent candidate for the first ever American sterilization experiment.

WHAT IS THIS ALL FOR?

Why do people believe that being happy in life revolves around success and what comes with success? I have spent most of my life thus far, albeit some of the most energetic and capable years of my life, ensnared with the thought that if I go to school, study hard, have a good career, and make a good living, life will be prosperous and satisfying...in the end. Well, life is prosperous and usually quite satisfying, but why do I feel a large void in my life?

Maybe because as child, I actually wanted to have a career focused on the ocean. Medicine as a life choice didn't enter my mind until well into college. I spent my childhood and high school days dreaming of the ocean and the life it posed for my future. Unfortunately the ocean was hundreds of miles away. I didn't care about money or trying to pay the bills, but I suppose that is one of the great privileges of being a child.

Maybe that is the destiny of our human race; to throw away everything sacred in our lives to instead focus on the innate and unimportant. To put life on hold in order to be "successful", to simply discard dreams and replace them with postcards of how things should be, to take the easy route because it is just that...easy.

I like that I am a doctor; that I help people and even feel like I actually save a life once in a while, but I often think of the effects this path has had on my life. I still dream of the ocean and what could have been. Although it is still hundreds of miles away, I can still feel that grasp it has always had on my life.

In regards to success, I think their are three true groups of people in current society. First, there are the lazy-no hope-drains on society that themselves will never account to much. They will not only waste their time on Earth, but also produce children that will likely continue in their steps. Secondly, there are the wealthy success stories. These people have it all, or at least appear that way. They are productive members of society, chair many important groups, take part in social activities, and have spouses that are only good for characters in daytime TV shows. Lastly, there are those who are simply happy and content with life and what it has dealt them while they avoid playing the "drain on society" role. These are the people enjoying what they do no matter what their income is. They had dreams as children and followed those dreams to their completion.

Our society is in trouble. Think of the three groups above. I would place a large wager that most of America, falls into one of the first two groups. How unfortunate. We are too busy worrying about the next step and not focusing on what is in front of us now. Many of us are going to find ourselves at the end of our lives, which for some turns out to be sooner than expected, regretting the chances we did not take or the life we lost.

Life should not be about "what if".

HEY, NICE TRACK MARKS

Why is it that patients who are obvious drug users actually deny drug use when you ask them? I have patients all the time who present complaining of chest pain or heart palpitations (racing heart) and deny drug use when they have very obvious track marks on the inside of their elbows. What absolute idiots.

Here's the funny thing, if I were to miss the track marks or the patient smokes crack or think that this patient really didn't do cocaine recently, one of my first line treatments for chest pain that appears to be due to their heart would be a beta blocker. OOPS! Giving a beta blocker to a crack user can kill them. But they wouldn't know that would they.

Here's an idea. If you are a patient and come to a doctor for treatment, answer every question they ask honestly. Stop being so stupid and hide the pride. We see you naked, at your worst times, and violate every physical aspect about you in an uncomfortable setting...trust me, I've seen just about everything. You shouldn't feel ashamed to give an answer or have something examined, it is our job and we are simply trying to help you. Please don't make the lawyers' jobs easier by lying to us.

TO ALL LAWYERS or LEGALLY GIFTED

Yes, I am glad you are productive members of society (depending on how you look at it), have an education, a job, and are not a free-loading on our economy. However, if you would like to post a comment or question on this site, please stop talking out of your asses and use basic English instead of your very unimpressive legal jargon. I, along with others who read this site and its comments, would really like to be able to understand what you are saying so that I may answer appropriately. Go ahead and feel good that you know the legal lingo, but truthfully, I'm not impressed. I know some other languages as well, but don't flaunt them here to try and impress people.

I will say this though, if you are willing to put your full name, address, and cell phone or pager number with your comment (so that everyone who reads it can write or call you and let you know just how stupid you sound), I would be more than happy to allow such legal lingo on this blog. If not, just speak like a human being. If that is still too difficult for you, just don't write anything at all.

ANSWERING THE FAN MAIL

Anonymous said...
I hope you have time to answer two questions, mostly because I don't understand your problem with this kind of healthcare and I would like to know more.If everything you are saying is true, Caduceus, why is it that chiropracticors are liscened and allowed to practice? Also, would you be more comfortable with chiropractics if they didn't have the title of doctor in front of their names?

Caduceus reply...
1. Medical doctors are licensed by a board of medical doctors/examiners. Chiropractors, I believe are also licensed by a board, but of other chiropractors. Both have to meet certain criteria and/or pass exams to become licensed. As long as you have an acknowledged medical specialty, you can become "board certified" in that specialty after some period of training and passing a highly regulated exam. Chiropractics has a nationally recognized board and must meet certification to become licensed. Medical doctors have nothing to do with it, and shouldn't. I really have no idea what the certification or exam, if any, is like.

2. Honestly, I don't think that chiropractors should be called doctors. I also don't think that doctors of physical therapy or other non-MDs should be called "doctors" either. I know this sounds arrogant and self-righteous, but there is a simple reason. It confuses people. Most patients, especially the elderly, have no idea that one doctor is different than the next. They are used to the old time town doctor that was the local practicing physician (MD). These days, it seems like anyone who obtains some form of secondary education is called a "doctor". Everybody wants the title and feels like they've earned it after so much schooling, but the problem is that we are using a very powerful term to describe very different things. These doctors are completely different. You may not realize this but lots of small town "doctors" are actually Physician Assistants (PA) or Nurse Practitioners. Here is an extremely dangerous situation. Residents of these towns many times call these practitioners "doctor so-and-so" and think they are seeing a Medical Doctor. What really annoys me is that many times, these PAs and NPs don't correct the public and state they are indeed NOT doctors - further allowing the public to become more confused as to the services they are obtaining.

Chiropractors, physician assistants, nurse practitioners are not "doctors" as the public percieves the term doctor. Don't be mistaken, these are not the same as medical doctors.

IN REGARDS TO PLAN B

Anonymous said...
Are you encouraging promiscuity? Thats just insanity, you democrat you.



Caduceus said...
I don't encourage promiscuity, I embrace the hope that our society will turn a corner and actually start producing children with a bright future instead of families that are an economic drain on our society.

Also, I acknowledge no political affiliation.